So lately a lot of issues have been arising that haven't had to be addressed since my girls were about 16 years old. Its been nice to closet those feelings of insecurity for me, but now I have to revisit the fear and anxiety of having an almost 16 year old teenage boy in my midst.
Yep, Noah's driving. And yep, my kids have pretty much called me psycho mom since the beginning of time due to my own insecurities of all that CAN go wrong, and, in my mind, WILL go wrong.
I know my "psycho-ness" comes from the past of losing a child, but sometimes I do take it a tad too far. For example, we have some rules....rules that were enforced to Jess and Meg, and I expect them to still be viable rules for Noah. But, it seems Mac and Noah aren't agreeing wholeheartedly on my enforcement.
#1 You will not ride in a car with another teenage driver. Okay, I don't think this is a bad rule. But every now and then situations occur that do require some driving assistance and it only makes sense to use another driver. We have a kid that works for us on the farm. Love him, great kid. He drives here everyday after school to work for us. Yet, I still pick up Noah from school. So, am I being unreasonable? Well, I have other feelings associated with this, and I feel justified. I have ONE school year left to drive my baby to school.....NO ONE will take that away from me. This is it, my last kid, my last year of being "needed" for transportation! So where the psycho mom comes in this scenario is that I've always had "the talk" with any kid that drives my kid around. I tell them, look, I like you. I trust you. But, I'm living in fear, almost daily, of the police coming to my door telling me there's been an accident. Please remember this every time you drive. My whole existence is riding in your car. Luckily, any kid I've had this talk with says "I understand".
#2 You will not allow any other kids to ride with you when you first get your license.
My reasoning here is simple. Teenagers are teenagers. I was one. I know how exciting it is to drive! But, man, when I wanna find that song, or I wanna text that other friend, or I wanna snap so and so.....YIKES! New, inexperienced drivers need to focus 100% of attention on the road and being defensive drivers. Its not you so much I worry about, its the other drivers that aren't paying attention.
Trust me, there's lots more rules, but these are the only two I'm addressing in this blog.
SO....where am I going with all this. I had a huge revelation yesterday. Mac and I took a day trip to get some parts in Indiana and I spent my time reading. (duh). I'm reading the book "Unglued" by Lysa Terkeurst. I literally got to chapter 6 and from that moment on I thought she was writing the book solely for my benefit. It spoke to me.
You know that sermon most of us have with our kids when they walk out the door? The "don't drink, don't smoke, be good, don't drive fast" sermon? Well, she explained what her family does. Instead of the sermon, they say 4 fours to their children when they walk out the door.
Remember Who You Are
What it means is this (her definition here, filled in with my name). Remember, you are a Dempsey, and a good name is better than all the riches in the world. And even more importantly than that, remember you are a child of God, holy and dearly loved, whom God has set apart for a mighty plan. There ain't nothing in this world worth trading that for. (Lysa Terkeurst)
I LOVE this! It gave me some much needed peace and a calm that I knew I needed to hear. I sat Noah down this morning and asked him, would you rather hear this, or my usual sermon? You know his answer!.....(anything is better than my sermonettes).
Then I put his name in the sentence and told him, this is what I mean every time I go into psycho mom mode. He knows. All my kids know. But here's a way to be a bit softer, and in the big picture, a bit wiser and kinder about how I deal with MY insecurities.
So that's it. I only write when something big hits me and needs to be spoken. This, I felt, needed to be spoken. There's so many of us parents that deal with anxiety and insecurities about kids and growing up.....even if it helps one other Mom to feel a bit more at peace about it.....I've done my job.
Remember who you are..........<3
