RETIREMENT BEGINS.....

I just got home from driving Noah to school. No big deal, right? WRONG! As he got out of the car I started bawling. Literally.....bawling. That was the last time I'll be driving my kids to school. Yes, there will be times in the next Junior and Senior year he'll bum a ride from me.....but, the last time before he NEEDS me to drive him to school. He will be driving himself. You may think this is no big deal, but listen....I've been driving my kids to school, mostly private schools, that are quite a distance away, for 25 YEARS!

I am feeling loss. Loss of all those wonderful conversations, laughs, tears, praying, bible verse learning, test quizzing, and singing. It is finished. Twenty-five years.....can you imagine? Some might be relieved....accomplished, but not me. I'm literally sad. I've spent so many years and hours in my car with my kids....that honestly, a lot of our best memories are in a car.

We've traveled to Fort Atkinson, Mukwonago, Nashotah, Hartland, and lastly Palmyra. From that first day till now, I've cherished it all. I've complained a lot, but I've cherished a lot. Here's some of my most memorable ones.....and trust me, there's lots more, but here's the few that come to my mind immediately.

Noah was going to LCCA in Nashotah. I was crying because the song, He's My Son, came on the radio. I told Noah I was sad because it made me think of losing Thomas, and I proceeded to tell him stories about Thomas and how losing him has completely changed me. He started tearing up and I thought I finally got his little soul to understand the gravity of loss. He said, I know exactly how you feel mama, its like when I lost Derby! Yes, losing our pets is horrible, and to his little mind, it was the only loss he'd every experienced.....but I was like........oh Noah, you have no idea.

Getting pulled over in Dousman because I was speeding. Noah and I were coming home from his Christian school, where I also worked as a Kindergarten aide, and the cop felt sorry for me because I had such a great driving record and changed it to squealing tires because it would be less points (something about a moving violation)....and I told him I couldn't have my name in the paper for squealing tires because I worked at the Christian school! It was funny at the time....

Driving with my girls to Fort Atkinson and throwing a banana out the window, just to see if the peel was still there the following day. Driving with the windows down in the freezing weather with the heat on high pretending we lived in Florida. Singing as loud as we could to songs that were probably not the most appropriate, while sending them into the little Christian schools. Driving in weather that made me cry, on roads that were terrible. Playing the "give me the "high and low" of your day game.

Driving the girls to school while Thomas was going through chemo, having to stop FAST so he could puke out the door instead of in the bucket we carried all the time so it wouldn't smell like puke in the car. Driving home and Jess decided she needed to puke, and proceeded to puke out the window while managing to get puke all down the window seal so every time I rolled the window up or down, there was remnants of her....(I still to this day can't figure out how she did that and Thomas never got puke in my car)....

Rushing home from school in Fort Atkinson so Meg could milk cows at age 10! Mac taking the kids to school while towing Sean and the kids couldn't understand why Uncle Sean was following them to school so closely. Dropping Noah off for his 1st day of 1st grade and then driving up to Green Bay to take Meg to her first year of college!

I cannot tell you how many bible verses and spelling words we practiced in the car. I hope all the kids I carpooled remember they got those A's from all the help I gave them in the car! lol

So as you're driving your kids to school, remember, you're making memories....cherish it. It goes so fast, and then they won't need you as much. You will miss this. I already do.