It's been awhile since I've put my words on paper. I think I start every blog with that
sentence! My mind is full. Full of questions about why. Full of questions about how.
I'm well aware about how messed up our world is. Please don't think I'm not aware of that.
I pray about our country, our world, and how sad it is what's going on across the world.
It's hard to talk about your life with all that is going on without feeling guilty.
I hate feeling like that.
I'm sure somebody will criticize me for being selfish. How could I possibly complain
at a time like this? I don't know, you tell me? Are we not suppose to cry on the bathroom
floor? Are we just suppose to just smile all the time because everything is perfect?
Just pretend our life is perfect?
Well that's not always that easy. Life is complicated, even when the world is falling
apart, in my little world.
I've been through things that have changed how I deal with problems. I've taught my kids to always
kill with kindness. Yet here I am faced with a situation where
I am angry. I don't want to be kind! I want to spit fire and give back the hate, unkind,
hurtful feelings they are putting upon me. The lessons I taught my own children are
hard to follow when I am being treated unjustly. Its hard to follow your own rules when
you are being judged and treated in a way that is totally uncalled for.
Something that has NOTHING to do with me is being directed in my
direction because small minded jealous people have nothing better to do
then spew hate. So how does a Christian deal with other so called Christians in this situation?
It's a tough one. I continue to pray for their conscience. I know they have to look at themselves
in the mirror when they are alone and know how pathetic they really are. The Lord knows their behavior.
The ironic part of it is, the people they're spending time with now, is the ones they were speaking badly about to me before they turned on me. So be careful small minded ones, your time will come when the tides will turn. Your selfish behavior, your rudeness, your lies, and your deceit, will catch with you. I will continue to treat you with kindness as my parents, and my bible have taught me. As hard as it may be, I will continue to do that. But know this, under my breath, I'm angry with you.
