Life After Loss

Here I am again, with some heavy stuff on my mind. March and April are always hard for me, as 16 years ago this week we were told Thomas had only one month left to live. They were right, he passed on April 18th, 2001, almost 30 days to the date of what they told us.

How has my life changed, or even continued since then? Life does go on, but it's not the same life you had before. Life is precious, life is short, and life is much more meaningful. I've found that I really don't care much about the drama life throws at me, nor do I spend too much time getting involved in things that don't directly affect me. I still pray most days that God give Thomas a little hug for me, and tell him his mama loves him so. Yes, I do that. And yes, I believe that is what God will do.

Noah is approaching the end of his middle school years. Am I sad? Yes, I'm sad that my sweet, little Noah is growing into a sweet, young man, and his baby days are gone. But, I'm so looking forward to see what he makes of his life. He's made us so proud, and I can't thank God enough for Noah, which means, "comfort". I find comfort in all the blessings God has bestowed upon me, and I also have days that I feel sorry for myself.  I feel empathy towards other parents going through what we did, and I pray for so many people that have no idea I pray for them. If I could help one child, or one parent, I would. Noah has been given a gift of empathy, and so the legacy continues.

So what was this particular blog about? I don't know, maybe just a glimmer of hope for a parent who just lost their child. My life is good, my life is humble, but my life also has a few sad chapters in it. I'm sensitive, and I'm strong, and I know all those qualities came from being Thomas' mom for almost 7 years.

Thanks for listening. I appreciate your reading my blog.

Kim